To the Amazing Husband Behind This Chronically Ill Wife by Samantha Moss

Behind every great man is a great woman, or so the saying goes.
Let’s flip that on its head a little. Behind this chronically ill wife is an amazing husband. A husband who has become a full-time carer. A husband who has gone beyond the call of duty. A husband who has become my legs, my cleaner, my cook, my shopper, my gardener, my driver, my nurse.

A husband who holds my hand when I’m writhing in pain. A husband who heats wheat packs in the middle of the night or makes me a cup of tea in the early hours of the morning, when sleep is completely disturbed by pain.

My husband is nothing short of amazing and I don’t know how, I don’t even want to think about how, my life would be without him by my side.

We share this chronic illness journey, warts and all. He knows me better than anyone else. He can tell when I’m exhausted even before I can. He never complains at this life that has been landed in his lap. He never gets annoyed at me for my limitations. If anything he gets annoyed at me when I try to do things beyond my limitations. That’s when I frustrate him.

It’s a frustration born out of love though. It’s because he knows how much pain I will endure for stretching my limits. He speaks to me of hating what my body is doing to me and how he feels so helpless. That breaks my heart to hear him say that.

Somehow we have managed to create a world of our own that works for us. While it is an extremely limited life, it is also a full and an ever-expanding life. Most of it is spent in the four walls of our home but we are together and we create our own adventures on a daily basis. We laugh and cry together, we read together, we watch our favorite TV shows, we sit in our garden and chat as if on a beautiful date. We share the jobs around the house and keep our environment a place where we want to be.

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We also have our alone time during the day. I have my online support forum and writing commitments and my husband always has a project on the go that he potters with in his “man cave.” Although we usually only spend two or three hours apart each day that time is precious and important, particularly for a carer.

I was recently asked to write on the topic of “Partners – Where would we be without our partners?”

I have a very simple answer to that question. Lost, lonely and in a permanent residential care facility.

Thank you, sweetheart, for all you do, your devotion, care, acceptance of our situation and your unfailing love.

Words really can’t express my love for you but I hope this article will always remind you that I think you are amazing and I love you so much.

Follow Sam’s story at My Medical Musings.

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Photo via michaeljung on Getty Images

Samantha Moss
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Focus Retriever

True Emotions

The Might: Dealing With Anxiety and Depression by Stephanie Roberts

 

I have to admit that I sometimes share the exact emotions as the author Stephanie Roberts has shared in her article post on The Mighty.

I try to remain a positive person and know that God has me, but sometimes your mind begins to wonder and those what ifs come into existence. I thank God everyday for my family stepping up to the plate as my caretakers. It is an overwhelming tasks. Just like this author expresses about all of the specialists visits and the times when I thought that I could prepare dinner only to have them wondering what they were going to eat later. Many days and nights I lock myself in the bathroom and cry because I don’t want them to worry as much, but they do because I can’t hide anything from them. They know about my mannerisms when I try to mask the pain. They know… I feel so sad for my husband because in spite of his own very painful leg due to an injury and his own medical condition, he still helps me with my everyday situations. I love him to death. My baby girl Kimora-Lynn has never seen me a day or night without pain. I was diagnosed right after she was born almost 18 yrs. ago. She doesn’t express her emotions to anyone. If she does then it is like an explosion all at once. She holds everything in. Not good.  I know. My two older children express their emotions through music. They are very talented lyricist, vocalist’s, producers and most importantly, multi-instrumentalist like their father. I am proud of them but they wear their emotions on their sleeve which can be dangerous. My son once argued with one of my old doctors because the doctor made a derogatory comment about my weight. I was on 60 mg of prednisone at the time. That was my last visit with that doctor. These are the things one deals with when you have both a very rare disease that is not known to almost all medical and human knowledge, it is more than most misdiagnosed, under funded federally and under researched.  Most of the time I have to educate those who I go to for care about the symptoms and problems caused by Sarcoidosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia.

So this month is Sarcoidosis Awareness Month and I am advocating it to the fullest whenever I can. My hopes is that I can obtain at least a $500 donation goal towards a cure. Either through participation in my upcoming Team K.I.S.S. DE 5k 2017 Run/Walk for a cure or my Marilyn’s Fight for Life KICK Sarcoidosis Campaign’s fundraising page via the Foundation of Sarcoidosis Research. All monies go to funding for research and it’s tax deductible. I like to thank all those who have registered so far and also those who have hopes to register or just contribute. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So in conclusion I say to all of my Warrior’s, cry, blog, express any way you can about your emotions and what you are feeling truly and hopefully you will feel better in the long run.