Trying to make it through…

FB_20160228_15_45_20_Saved_Picture

Woke up this morning after a very sleepless night feeling heavy. Muscle and joint pain with spasms caused me to require assistance from my husband to get dressed and downstairs. When asked what was going through my head I stated that I felt as a failure to be a mother, failure to be a wife, failure as a Sarcoidosis Advocate and now failure as an Acti-Lab Ambassador. Why, because my health is deterring me from living as I ought to be. My 50th birthday is this upcoming Friday, June 3rd. Where I wanted to be and where I am now is not as I expected. The problem is should I accept it or should I change it.

Two new masses found on my lungs, a breast cancer scare,  Cardiac Sarcoidosis issues, NeuroSarcoidosis issues, Fibromyalgia flare, new doctor, multiple testing, new medication changes, medical insurance issues, etc… This is just been the last three months. This could make a person very stressed and it has. I watch my husband working himself to death just trying to make ends meet. He never asks for help and he never complains, but you can feel his spirit shift. I am scared for him.

The only way that I could help without sitting on the corner with a cup in my hand was to find something that I could do when I could do it. Something that is not so stressful that I would get overwhelmed.  So I started my own business and it is, not for not trying my damnedest, getting off to a slow start. I thought that of those that are most important to me, would have been my first clients. Not happening. No, I cannot work in a normal setting due to my illness and knowing this I thought that support would have come fast and everyone would be happy that I am trying and that something has motivated me to strive to continue to fight. I understand that everyone has financial problems and I can relate, which I why I jumped into this venture. There is even opportunities for those that can to join me with trying to make some extra income.

Why am I stressing? I truly don’t know because I trust that God has a plan for me. Sorry for venting.

imagesacti-labs productshiring

Niihwa (feat. Kye Bum Zu) – Make Me Crazy

I really like this song. 😍

Niihwa (feat. Kye Bum Zu) – Make Me Crazy.

 

#Good Boy M/V – G-Dragon and TAEYANG

href=”http://youtu.be/RrBq86xw9XE” title=”Good Boy M/V – G-Dragon & Taeyang”>
Had to post this for my daughter Ka’miko and niece Shamir. They love G-Dragon and TAEYANG. 😁

The beat is on point. The music is HOTT! Love Taeyang’s new look and well G-Dragon, you’ve done it again.

[images] Rain during a break in filming in Shanghai. (4/11)

I have been slacking on my fandom due to my illness, but my love for Rain never fails. Clouds, I can’t wait for his next drama. I need a fix. LOL ^_^

Cloud USA

Cloud cover by: Stephe, Managing Editor ^@@^

News photographers in Shanghai spotted Rain coming out of a hotel elevator with a small entourage, and began snapping away.

(Slideshow images source credit: ent.163.com / cfp.cn / slide.ent.sina.com.cn)

h1(6)

h5(2)

h9

Incidentally, the news people at Ent.163.com and at Sina had a good ol’ time poking fun (no pun intended) at the two pictures below ↓ and joking about the man “grabbing his crotch/privates” in public when obviously it’s nothing more than an optical illusion. As if Rain would do such a thing with a horde of cameras all on him. Sheesh. Must have been a slow news day. Y’all know how that goes. ^@@^

View original post

[clip][Japanese] Rain’s special Hanlove K-Pop Legend interview. (3/24)

Cloud USA

Cloud cover by: Stephe, Managing Editor ^@@^

Hanlove kpop legend Rain interview Japan_CUSA

(Courtesy of river_084)

» A version on YouTube is HERE, credited to river_084 and courtesy of terry820625.

View original post

Watch “DBSK – Hey! (Don’t bring me down)” on YouTube

Memories…AKTF

Support Sarcoidosis Awareness – RainCloudMom

Cloud USA is 4 years old today. (1/21)

Happy birthday family! Sorry it’s belated. Been in bed sick…Love you guy!

Cloud USA

Aww, thanks so much, Jess!^^ ♥ *blushing*^@@^

1003216_10151927864911378_1440163106_n(Rainthetreasure Blogspot)

View original post