Where Is My Relief?


Waking up in pain everyday isn’t how I envisioned my life to be. Diagnosed 18 years ago and been living debilitating pain that no one could possibly handle on their own. Prescribed medicine’s do not work for my good. They just caused more problems, more pain.


Waking up in pain is not what I envisioned my married life would be. I hurt because I can’t be the wife that my hubby Karl needs. Instead of me taking care of him, he instead takes care of me. Causing an extra burden to be placed on his shoulders because of my stupid illness hurts my heart. Watching him age before my eyes. Saddening. Hurtful. Regretful. Sorrowful. In his eyes he loves me and I am thankful. Karl honors our vows to each other. Honestly, that speaks volumes to his character. Cares for me like no other. He is a blessed man of The Most High that was created just for me. I am blessed because he chose me. Selah


Waking up in pain each day is not what I envisioned my life as a parent to be. Diagnosed when my children were 12, 9 and 2 months respectively. Just babies themselves having to take on the role of caretaker to their own mother. Missing out on a lot because of me. Having one resent me because of it. Missing out on caring for the baby a lot because of the pain. They are 30 (KJ), 27 (Ka’miko Mai’) and 18 (Kimora-Lynn) now and I can truly say I am blessed that they chose me as mom from heaven. They make me fight each day to live. Even with the pain, I could not have made it this far without them. There are many others in my shoes that do not have the support system that I have and I pray for them everyday. But I am so thankful that my family loves me and stays in my corner. The Most High seen favor with me and blessed me with another daughter. My daughter Hadar, KJs wife, not only loves me but she is also an active advocate for me and Sarcoidosis. She helps me with my health choices and also with my life. She educates others about Sarcoidosis, making them understand what I struggle with everyday. She loves me and that is such a blessing.


Chronic pain, living with Sarcoidosis, living with an Invisible illness, living with an incurable debilitating disease and finally, living with a rare disease; this is my life. I fight through the pain, I smile through the pain, I live through the pain.

Peace and blessings to you always Warrior’s.


RE: MOVIE NIGHTMARE @ Cinemark Christiana Movie Theatre Pt. 2


This is a follow-up to the Cinemark Christiana Movie Theatre debacle.

I called the theatre the next morning after being humiliated the night before and spoke to a representative who intern stated that I would be receiving a call from their manager (Stephanie) on Monday. Well that didn’t happen. I called this evening around 4:30 pm and actually spoke to Stephanie herself. After explaining to her how I was treated, she told me “where I was wrong.” She said that I, indeed was sitting in someone else’s seat.? Wrong! I understood the meaning of reserved handicapped seating and I was indeed sitting in a seat that I had reserved. Stephanie also stated that they sat those that was supposed to sit in our seats elsewhere, and that the usher was supposed to tell us this. NOT! LIES BEGAT LIES BEGAT LIES! Stephanie then went on to say that I had no right to raise my voice to her. I rebutted with, why Not? You are not listening to what I am trying to explain to you about what actually happened. She then apologized for her staff not alerting me to reassigning the other moviegoers Stephanie promised me a refund, in which I was prepared to give her my confirmation number so that it could be reimbursed to my card. Stephanie said that was not possible and that I had to come back to the movie theater and show her my digital receipt. Again reiterating that it would be hard for me to do so tonight because of my disability, so may I email it to her. Of course she said no. Stating that I must present the ticket in person in order to receive my refund out of their petty cash fund due to the ticket being purchased via Fandango. She said that it would be okay to send a copy of the ticket with my husband. Stephanie stated, “that if she was not there, then she would leave word with the other managers to refund my money. Hubby went there and the staff denied our refund. A manager named Carlos specifically, spoke very negatively to hubby.
I am venting this because I already deal with being handicapped because of Sarcoidosis and what it has done to my life, but to be humiliated when I was in the right for sitting in a seat designated for the handicapped. Especially, when being asked to move for those who were not. #Fighting4ACure #LivingWithChronicPain #LivingWithAnInvisibleIllness #SarcoidosisAwareness #LivingWithChronicPain #TheRightsOfTheHandicap #Fighting4OurRights #MistreatmentOfTheHandicapped

Movie Theatre Nightmare

Theatre: CINEMA CHRISTIANA XD at the Christiana Mall in New Castle County Delaware.

This being the first and the last time I come to this theatre. I am legally handicapped and I purchased four tickets to see the new “Thor” movie. I purchased two seats in the handicapped section, seats C13 and C14, as well as two more seats in row B. There was no other handicapped person in the theatre this night. All present were younger children ages 26 on down. But why was I harassed over and over again about the seat I reserved. Ushers stating that I was in another person’s seat and had to move. Showing my digital receipt over and over again. What did they do, they brought a hard, uncomfortable chair out and asked me to sit in it because I “should have been in a wheelchair.” I use a walker. Why was I singled out. Next to me on my right, a young couple lounged and talked throughout the whole movie. Never was they asked to move. Also, no handicap there unless it was their inability to SHUT UP!!! To my left, a young man sat very comfortably alone. Mind you, no one ever came to sit next to me. I am a married mother treating her husband and the boyfriend of my daughter to a movie of their choosing for their birthday. I hope they enjoy it because I will never do this again. Back to the safety of my home to wait for the movies to become available on cable. This place SUCKS!!!
Cinemark Christiana Mall gets barely 1 star. I will stick to Regal Cinemas at Peoples Plaza.

My dilemma…


Here I go adding on another dilemma to add onto my many, many other quandaries. I am facing an upcoming neck surgery which will leave me immobile for a little while and I need to get this weight off that I’ve been carrying for way too long.

You see, when dealing with severe chronic pain in your everyday living, for me it is very hard to do a normal workout that those without may achieve. Being disabled on top of it all provides me with limitations that I cannot ignore. I am tired of the label, “morbidly obese.” I rely on taking a lot of meds that cause weight gain and fluid retention and I want  this weight. I also, because of Sarcoidosis, require 24 hour oxygen support to breathe. This is something that will be with me for the rest of my life, but I am positive that my mother flow will decrease if I could just get some of the weight off. I’ve tried every diet pill and natural supplement that you can think off, costing me monies that I don’t have on my fixed income to lose this unwanted fat. I eat a low to no heart healthy carb diet prepared for me by family members, but I am very limited to movement to work it off. Walking is painful and due to damage in my spine because of the years of having to take steroids for Sarcoidosis, often causes my extremities to go completely numb and I lose function of them. In other words, my legs go completely from under me and I require a walker or assistance getting around all the time. I am only 51 yrs. young for crying out loud! The surgery I am receiving is risky but I have to do it to alleviate the pain and other symptoms that I am experiencing.

So here I am facing yet another dilemma to add-on the surmounting others and with no solution known to me in sight. My life officially SUCKS!

Venting complete

Peace and blessings to you always,


Path to all you beauty, body and weight loss products. http://acti-Labs.com/me/marilyn-mcneill


Today is A new day

I know, I know, it seems like everyday is the same for those of us who no longer work. But my message for you today is to thank The Most High that he has kept you. You are able to live to see another day, so try to make the best of it. Even the littlest efforts matter.
Peace and blessings to you always Warrior’s,
Marilyn 💜❄💜❄💜❄bitmoji-20171009080932


Path to all you beauty, body and weight loss products. http://acti-Labs.com/me/marilyn-mcneill

It’s All Relative (Or, I Refuse To Be A Victim’s Victim)

Source: It’s All Relative (Or, I Refuse To Be A Victim’s Victim)

[tutorial][Eng trans] From Stephe’s desk: Signing up for Rain’s official Cloud 10 fan club, now on Naver Cafe.

Haven’t done my registration yet, but hope to do it within the week.

Cloud USA

Cloud cover by Stephe, Managing Editor ^@@^

»[info] It’s finally here! The membership drive for Rain’s official 10th Cloud fan club has begun. (8/22 —10/30)

** EDITED TO ADD: I forgot to mention… I did all of this from my computer, rather than my Tab A or my phone. But I imagine it will work the same whether you’re desktop or mobile. ^@@^

Firstly, I want to thank those who went the extra mile for Clouds and Rain fans by posting Naver tutorials based on their own experiences, in the hopes that it would help the rest of us. Korean mega-portal Naver is something most of us have run into in the K-Pop/K-drama world, right? But when it comes to navigating the thing, it’s brand new territory in another language, not to mention daunting, frustrating to the point of tearing your hair out, etc.

View original post 992 more words