Pain Sucks

Today is a day where my tears will not stop flowing. The pain in my joints (hips, ankles, elbows, fingers and knees) is causing me to walk with extreme difficulty. No appetite because my stomach just doesn’t feel right. I dread drinking water because it means that I will have to keep getting up to walk to the bathroom. I don’t know what to do anymore. My birthday is tomorrow and I will be 49 yrs old but I feel much much older. I continuously scream why me! I am honestly tired of the pain. I am honestly tired of seeing what this disease has done to my family. I am honestly tired of the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial strain it has placed on my family. I am honestly just tired. I ask myself if it would be better for God to just take me home. But I know that I want to live. I want to be here to be here with my family. I want to be here to see my grandchildren. I just want to be here. So please keep me in your prayers. I just want a cure.